Hey Darren, Stop Being A Dick And Begging For Handouts

 

So I'm not gonna beat around the bush on any of this BS, a lot has been making me cranky these days in the world of WWEP. First off, I have to find out via the interwebz that our esteemed Chairman of the Board Doc Bryan finally croaked, heh, he must've been listening to too many of those classic Ben Conner barn burner promos. I'd want to die if I had to listen to that too. But then that's not even all! We then all find out that Darren Cox...yes, the same Darren Cox whose wife controls his every move. But Darren Cox has bare backed his way into a Universal Championship match!! What the FU%#>>?? How in the hell did this ass clown get a title shot?? He lost the night before at Summerslam!! This would be like if we awarded a SuperBowl ring to a cripple who can't even walk down the football field, nevertheless run. Wait a minute didn't we have a cripple in our organization just a couple years ago? God help us. This organization is a joke sometimes.

 

I understand summer is ending and we are about to be in the season of giving, but good god Darren, you have to try and earn somethin' in this bush league of an organization. We obviously know you have sucked for a long period of time and have riden the coat tails of your overrated wife for quite a while, but all hope isn't lost for you yet. I'm sure that fat walrus looking emo kid that we call world champion needs a personal toilet bowl cleaner. He sure as hell eats enough, I can't even begin to imagine what comes out of that oversized a$$! But, Darren the toilet bowl cleaner? Has a nice ring to it. Come to think of it, I think that might be your calling, bro. I'll pray for you.

​